LOVE!

2011-03-27T02:06:00.000+08:00

WSS!

This whole week has made me damn exhausted and emotions running up and down.

FiRST was exams the first 2 days of bunking in...

Second was just things around me...

Third was me having just that EXTREME LIMITED time with my syg...

Gosh! i miss so tons lots....

Fourth ,i will be away for the coming week. n thts nt seeing my syg again too...

Fifth , shows aren't down n my voice starts to show signs of feeling tired alr...

All these really made me very very very pissed.....

Its like things never get right for me and im damn frustrated!

To those whom if i offended, do forgive me...

As the month of March is coming to an end.

With a new start of the month APRil soon...

Lets just hope, it will all be fine n back to normal again....

Next, i would like to thank all the people who

came down to support me n wss people to watch the musical... Its been a tough one and i hope ya'll enjoyed it...

SYG! I'LL BE missing you alort.....n i m missing u alr... =(

Love you.

2011-02-13T13:36:00.002+08:00

12th Feb 2011 is the official date we've have been together.

For like 3 years,there is so much to see and so much to learnt from one another We don't always quarrel or fight. Even if we do, it'll be little things tht comes in between us made both of us upset or unhappy. At the end of the day, we talked things out nicely.

Back then, i knew Muhammad Iskandar in 2008/09. He was like a little boy with tons n tons of flaws. His mischief, his boyish looks that makes every girl go GAGA... over him and his temper yada yada yada... Yet still, i m still surprised he decides to be with me among all the pretty girls who've been wanting him. Well, i'm not braggin. But because back then, i was this tall,tanned and fat muscular loud girl. I have no idea, wat made his eyes hooked to mine.

To the time when he goes NS. We had to be separated for a little while cuz of race and family issues..With much persuasion from me to him, i thank god i still have him by my side.

At that point of time, really made me into a depression mode. With no mood to study,eat or sleep. But always pray to god for him not leaving me.

These 3 years, made me not only knowing him much more but understands the importance of treasuring someone. Well of course, i'll do tht always. In a sense where, being in a relationship needs to have space of wat we r doing. If i were to call him n pester him or even nag at him for nor answering my calls or msg. He'll be dead irritated for us, bt neither do i wanna do tht too.

And also,despite both our hot tempers. We both managed to bring out egos down n talk things out nicely even for over the little things.

Even as years go by. Be it 10 years down the road or 50 or even 60/70? or more?

I'll never get tired of him. As other relationships sees this, if they both knows each other too well, they might as well be friends. Thats wat some people sees it.

But to me, i dun. Yes, i may knows my syg inside out. We both can still be a couple and best friend too. Ain't that great.

Seeing him always makes me smile.

Makes me feel like there is no one else but him.

He, who have always been there for me.

Advices me if ever my parents falls out with me.

He would always knock some sense in my head and speaks the truth tht u know sometimes i am at fault with my parents too.

Cuz wat they did was right.

Even if i were to get mad at him.

It'll be a jokin mindset n then i'll smile again.

For i just could not get mad at him at all.

Call me crazy but i think because its the love or art?

Haha!

Not only tht i fall for him, its also because of his big ambitions he wans to do n be.

A boy who was a year younger than me have so much passion in what he does or wat he wans to do.

And that, no one can stop him. Cuz if anyone does, he'll fight all the way for wat he wants.

No matter, how big his dreams are, i'll nvr fail to reject it.

I'll always be by his side supporting him all the way.

He might be younger than me by a year and 3 months

But to me, i see him as a man.

A man of his thoughts.

A man, who needs a woman by his side to support him all the way.

And if he ever breaks down, his woman will always stood by her and lead him the way.

If he ever falls, his woman will always bring him up n made him stand tall again.

For i'll always love him.

Cross My Heart And Soul... loL!

XOXO...LOL...ROFL...

PLUS!

There can be people trying to tear us apart or even be a 2-faced bitch/bastards supporters.

But of course,there are people that supports us all the way and be there for us.

One of them i'd like to say thanks to is Natri. She has been there in every problems i faced in.

Be it with parents, relatives, friends or people around us. In any situations. When i need a listening ear, she would always be there. Not next to me but on the phone is good enough. Whenever i need just a phone call to cry onto. She would always be there...Natri as a friend/good/best friend someone whom i can trust. Despite sometimes her little flaws of her own problems,sometimes seems invisible to me. Hahah! That, i'll never forget her. =)

Syirah too, the first time when i met up with a huge incident for that pass few days. She would always hear me out, hear me blabber all the negative tots and all. N she will never fail not to give a listening ear too.

2011-02-04T15:43:00.000+08:00

First n foremost.

I'd like to say HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE! =)

Its the second day of CNY.

N i am home.

Dead boring...

No visiting today n tml.

All i'll be doing is to stay home watch tv.

Control the amount of cravings that is put at home.

Study.

And exercise...

Since i'm home today n tml.

I shall be discipline abit run...

I mean, i have been eating rice for the past 4 days! man! dun gain weight. YA RIGHT!

Apart from looking forward to receive Red packets.

What i am really looking forward for is meeting my syg.

Gosh..geees, i haven been seeing him for close to 2 weeks...

Missing him so much...

N soon i'll be seeing him on a sunday. But tht is just for rehersals, not a date...pfft..

But soon sooon... after the 12 feb it'll all be mine...

next stop.

These days...

been mumbling about friends...

sigh...

its so hard tht i dunno where to start or how to start...

i just think that.

Everyone has their own issues.

That whether or not ur happy or unhappy.

We shld speak up n nt keep our mouth shut.

When we do, so much so that certain things tht are nt true were open or lead from BIG MOUTHS tht made it spat upon to uneccessary problems.

Which leads to such a headache n a pain in a ass....

I dun wanna say anymore cuz its been buggin me for days

That when i can actually celebrate my CNY happily, i've been sulking and thinking about it most of the time.

With the add on for me not meeting up my syg...

I think i shall not continue anymore.

I shall stop here.

Till then.

2011-01-09T09:43:00.001+08:00

Its been months since i haven been updating my blog.

BECAUSE it's giving me problems.

whats been happening these days to me?

Before 2010 ends...

that week was a disaster.

But it ends well on the last day because i spend my countdown with my syg...

Then comes the first week of 2011.

Hmm, first few days was fine. Family relations. Not bad.

But other stuffs were involved.

Say relationship.

My syg and i were nt having problem.

Well, its the people around.

Seee, our relationship aren't like normal relationships with normal problems.

Its problems with people against our relationship and all..

Its been hard on me at the first week of 2011.

But still, its not gonna bring me down.

Even if it takes 30 over people disapprove us.

There is still more than a million approve. The world.

Wats most important is our hearts are in one.

Till then, we both will work very hard to show it to those who don't believe in our relationship.

To people who believe in our relationship.

I thank you and i appreciate your support.

To those who don't nevermind...

I wun be lost. But U are makin me stronger to prove ya'll how we can make the "not gonna happen" situation making it to HAPPEN!.

Well, i gotta say, i feel sad for ya'll cuz ya'll don't understand what or how much it takes to love someone u really love.

I'm not saying, seeing each other everyday or all the time means they really love you.

But me n my syg... we don't.

AND TO CLARIFY to people who thinks

I SEE MY SYG ALL THE TIME!

Let me tell ya we don't get to see each other all the time.

We don't get to see each other everyday.

We don't get to talk on the phone everyday before to sleep.

what we have was LOVE, UNDERSTANDING, TRUST, MATURITY and lots more!

Thats what it take for us to love each other this long.

SO PLEASE MIND WHAT U SAY!

BEFORE SAYING MY RELATIONSHIP!

LOOK AT YOUR RELATIONSHIP FIRST.

IF ITS THAT PERFECT, LET ME KNOW.

I AM MORE THAN WILLING TO SHARE MINE TOO!

THERE....

whats happened this week.

I'm gonna put it behind but i'll never gonna let it go

cuz IMMA PUT IN EXTRA WORK TO MAKE IT A MIRACLE TO HAPPEN.

YA'LL JUST WAIT N SEE.

IT WON'T TAKE 1 WEEK, 1 MONTH, 1 YEAR.

BUT SO LONG AS ME N HIM AREN'T BROKEN...

WE'LL MAKE IT...

For i'd like to look forward to the comin 2011.

so don't spoil mine before i spoil URS! =)

PFFFT!

to end off this update...

I'D like to say i love my syg so much...

and i'll do whatever it takes...

nothings gonna stop me.

its like as much as i love singing...

NO ONE.

no one can stop me only myself.

N if i nvr stop myself.

means i'll nvr stop loving

2011-01-09T09:42:00.000+08:00

TESTING!

2010-12-04T23:52:00.000+08:00

WHOOO! Finally it ends with a good weekend!

2010-11-19T23:24:00.003+08:00

Like i said from the previous post...

i have so much to say...

i just think that if i put whatever happens behind and accept wat you are cause u cun just shove someone away if they are different from you..

i tried... i REALLY TRIED.

But from what i see these whole week during EVERY session...

i see that i was being ignored..

Not that i wanna make a fuse out of it.

I made an effort to talk to you.

I asked certain things..

i was being ignored like as if i was not there...

or best still ur just talking to that one PARTICULAR person all the time...

Ook, then where do we all stand DAMN!

YOU DUN JUST SHOVE US ALL ASIDE..

AND WHEN NEEDED TO TALK TO US U OPEN UR DAMN POUCH MOUTH!..

I am glad tht i am not the only 1 or 2 person who noticed...

Is just tht ur being unfair...

if u just wanna talk to just 1 ! person!

then Saifen us all out then...

I see how u handle when its gone...

Don't think what u appear on the outside is what we see what kind of person u are...

I AM 100% DAMN SURE u are more than what you are...

a 2 face person...

a liar...

a cheater...

an arse...

don't you made me hit to the max of my boiling point till i spill everything out n settle one on one scores with you.

For i dun wanna do that.

So stop being an arse...

what else can i say about you...?

seriously i dunno wat else more can i curse about you.

But i decide not to do so, i dun wanna get karma...

well... i myself ain't one so i dun think i have much to worry about...

And if u think u are the one...

do be glad u are being talked about...

i dun wanna dirty my blog cuz its meant for happy memories...

Like me and my syg...

So buzz off and be true to who you are before i reveal all out..

You've been warned...

(RED CARD!)

2010-11-16T23:14:00.006+08:00

SICKENING Yet quite memorable..

sickening was because i fall sick.

Losing my voice...

BUT YET! I GET TO SEE MY SYG BEFORE THE CAMP!

AIN'T THT GREAT OR WAT!

yeap, and oh memorable was because i had WSS camp.

Working with new people in the musical....well, majority of them.

Well, but you know wat...

i think this camp is quite memorable cuz it taught us nt to be selfish, to respect others, positive attitude n plus on communication.

I mean communication sums it up all but yeah.. ya know wat i mean...

preparation for sunday performance during singing lessons...

Its was a hectic one cuz all groups have been stressing on how to finish the songs in just 2 nights..

people get to sleep late. but i'm glad not many complain...

I am very grateful that people are helping one another out....

hmmm, maybe a few bad eggs who dun but oh well...

at least i get to see team work...

despite the fact that we heard scary things n sleep only 2 hrs or less...

our camp was a paid off...

Plus one dun forget.. how much i miss my syg...

hoping he wld be at the camp with me too like the previous camp in GREASE!. Teeheee!

That sums up the whole of last week...

Lets talk about this week...

I notice...

In life, people do get hypocritical and backstabbing one another.

bUT at the end of the day... look at yourself first before opening your mouth..

I admit, i used to be like one of them... (nt the very bad ones, but just touch n go)

but then i realise, people makes mistakes...

accept it n accept for who they are too...

not to spread news and have so much hatred among one another...

being stuck in between, i really dunno wat to do but try not to get involved so much.....

more to be said but i think it'll be scary if i really list examples down here...

BOTTOM LINE....

I'M a nice girl who dun treats people bad...

I dun pretend to have friends just because of benefits...(thats wat i hate the most!)

Dun pretend to be nice to me, cuz once i know...

you'll never wanna see the bad side of me....

bad omens aside...

lets say the good things...

yes!

I LOVE MY SYG! =D

2010-11-16T23:14:00.001+08:00

TESTING!

2010-10-20T00:34:00.005+08:00

First of all,
i wld wanna say how much i miss my syg ALOT!... despite me meeting him last thursday...
He'll be busy doing his mission in camp.
All the best for him completing and doing well...

Apart from tht, a news i received was my grandma (daddy's mum)
she was warded becoz of stomache. then come to know its diahorrea infection.
which after she pooed with lots of blood.
Then they think it might be her intestine/stomache infection.
Then too much acid was in her stomache tht caused her difficulty breathing.
When i visited her this morning.
I was surprised to see her condition.
In an oxygen mask. breathing heavily and fast.
I spoke to her, telling her to breathe slowly.
She so wanted to take out the oxygen mask bt had no strength. bt was nt advised to, cuz it might worsen her breathing.
When i look at her. She looked at me, like as if she wanted to tell me how much she was in pain....
i CLD NT DO ANYTHING bt look at her. trying nt to cry infront of her.
i was tramatised by it...
then she was send to ICU. (critical condition)
so critical tht she had to rely on the machine to pump her heart,
cuz her lungs were so tired to pump /breathe anymore...
Tht when i went to see her again, she has lots of needles on her.
Seeing her lying on bed in a very uncomfortable condition.
This time, she had not much strength to lift her hand.
She looked at me feeling tired.
but deep in my heart , i told her to be strong...
dun let go...
doc says she has to go for scanning n surgery or else she cannot survive...
I broke down infront of my relatives...
Being the egoistic me who does not like ppl to see me cry.
Its so unbearable not to cry..
I felt, i had not done so much for her...
I dun see her often cuz i am busy.
But ,
deep down....
I really LOVE her...
i pray to god for her being able to breathe better n in not much of pain and a speedy recovery...
"Mama...
I LOVE YOU...
PLEASE BE STRONG...
NOT NOW...
NOT YET...
YOU'VE YET EATEN MY ABALONE THAT I BOUGHT USING MY OWN POCKET MONEY
I'VE NOT YET BRING U OUT FOR A WALK
PLEASE DUN GO...."

At that point of time...
i felt totally useless,
and afraid,
having no one to lean a shoulder to cry on...
but with my own hands to wipe off my tears...
for i have to be strong...

Debe, thanks for coming down early.
Talked to me ...
i feel better for that period of that time..
but still, i need time.
cuz i am not ready for anything to happen...
i cannot take it.
not now.
not ever...

for i am not strong enought to face such things...

PS: syg, i miss u. i miss u hug that i need so much right now...but i understand...
in time, soon, i would want ur shoulder n that hug from u... ='(

2010-09-18T00:26:00.004+08:00

As said for the past 2 to 3 months i have been busy with skl.

But that does not mean i don't have time for him... =)

Hey! don't say you dunno him oK!...

I've been talking about him on my blog all the time about 2half yrs ago k!...

Back then, we're just 2 lovebirds.. falling in love.

then comes certain situations that has to be facing in the future when it comes to marriage..

And now we're still going strong.

With him by my side...

HIm changing so much...

There's nothing more i wanna ask much.

So long as i have him by my side.

Because, his so precious to me that can't be away from my life.

So much so that i cherish every moment i am with him.

Be it on the phone, dates, on msn or on fb..

Every single seconds, minutes, hour...

i just wanna be part of it.

That i don't left out what he does,say, did or whats happening in his life.

Cause to me, his just my other half.

And i can't see him feeling so sad over certain things...

Changes that needs to be made.

I'm willing to take that challenge for i am always ready to go this world.

I just need time cause i need to do my research...

nothing is impossible if u put in the effort.

My pillar of wall,

My antidote,

My happy pill,

My laughing gas,

My serious conversation partner,

My emotional boy,

My LOVER.. =)

My long term and enternity bf! -)

Love ya! <3

2010-09-18T00:15:00.003+08:00

Welcome BACK!!!

It's been a few months i have not update my blog.

That's becuz i have been busy with school eversince skl start.

Since 15th of july school has started.

Projects / assignments i shall say has been piling up.

But we managed to pull it through .

Through out months of schooling and seeing my classmates everyday, i gt to make a group of good friends...

I'm glad to say they are a group of people who dun take jokes serious...

They are all open to talk about anything...

Crazy bunch of people.. lol!

And now my exams are over and so is semester 1 !

Having a month break till the next brain cracker starts again.

2010-07-17T01:04:00.003+08:00

Look at these 2 pictures.

One manly, one boyish...
Yeap... thats my boy.
Hahah!
Been thinking how much have we've both grown.
Well, i shrink a little.
HE! has grown...ALOT. loL!
From the time i've known him till now...
I must say i'm quite impressed with him...
That i dun have to becoz of little things i nag at him.
For he knows wats his doing and wats best for him.
Of all choices i made most of the time was wrg...
But falling in love with him and not giving up on him from the past till now,
was the best choice i've ever made...
I've nvr fallen for someone so much deep...
I've nvr cried soo much for someone ...
I've nvr cared for someone so much...( i mean i do care for everyone)
But his is special...
I need to take care of his health..
His HEART esp...
Because his heart holds everything...
If without him, i wun have good advice...
If without him, i dunno how much wiser i've got..(loL!)
If without him...
I cannot dun have him by myside da...
His that so PRECIOUS to me...
Someone i could talked everything about...
Someone whom i dun have to feel shy about
Someone whom i dun have to pretend to make it perfect infront of.
Cuz i have my own flaws too and was way many...
For he accepted my flaws..
my stupidity dumb and gong gong actions...
I dunno wats the right word to describe to him...
But his just the MR.RIGHT for me...
to walk down the wedding aile...
to walk down the long journey with me...
to walk down our ups n downs...
to walk down till we grow old....
For death will not do us apart too...
Forever in my heart.....
MY HEARTS CLOSED FOR U.... =-*

SIDE track....
skl's starting next week!
wee!
excited yet scared...
Excited cuz i finally get to touch books and crack brains and hold a pen!
scared cuz i dunno wat the ppl there r gonna be like.
plus i scared i cannot do well... nevertheless, i'll do my best for i dun wanna fail my parents anymore...
commitments....
all , i have to cut down..
i'm sorry if i have to turn certain things down...
but its for my studies sake...
i cun have too many things at a time...
West side story n studies are the prioirites...
family i have to have time for them...
FRIENDs at time...
but most importantly , time spared for my syg too...
Thats the biggest commitment i have to take....
well, nt commitment but is a must one.
For certain relationships out there...
too afraid of commitments and other stuff...
relationships are at loss...
Y with tht decision...
dun ur think its too hasty to cut out sth like tht cuz of other commitments...
To break off for a reason cuz too stress with other stuff...
that needs a breather to take...
That wld be the most dumbest thing to do...
If ppl decides to loss a relationship for tht...
its hard to get back...
Chances are given but not always...
so do treasure....

2010-06-18T02:05:00.003+08:00

A TOUGH WEEK back then and it ENDS this WEEK AWESOMELY!....

I'm lost for words...

and i'm glad i had Iskandar being my life-time partner.

Never had i tot ,wat went through last week, we had it all sorted out...

I'm so glad his understanding.

Yes he might be a little here n there but .

Ya see, thts where the gf has to step in to ease the situation.

I can be as ego as anyone else to say its not my fault.

But tht way wun help for the both of us...

I just feel tht...

i have to be always by ur side no matter wat happens...

and when we hold on, things will get better...

Not only to love him / concern him about his everyday life.

But his feelings

his everything.

Talking is nothing tht we talked about like how r u yada yada...

but we talked about everything .

Eeverybit... not keeping things from one another

Having to trust each other is as impt too...

and u see ..

My syg has it all...

For no one can ever be compared to him..

In every relationship i fall into....

i always look far because i am sincere and believe tht if i am sincere in my relationship and be faithful the other will do the same too

Things hasn't been going well till i found and fall for u...

As the first time when we get to know one another..

i was so afraid i wld be cheated for the i dunno how many times...

but then..

i came to realise...

that there can be many man out there with so much to have but cheats the other half...

But u....

U are the special one who doesn't cuz hah! i dunno why but i had soo much faith in u n trust in u...

and u never fail to make me love u even more.

Instead, u make me for who i really am...and learn to love u whole heartedly no matter wat stands in the way...

All the while i thought i had a bad love life with such a short love life span....

but i am grateful to have known u...

my malay boy... =D

AND me SLOWLY getting in to know about islam...

For i am willing to learn gradually in time.. =)

FOR u my love...

being with u is the best thing tht happened to me...

If having u leave me one day...

i could nt imagine how things will turn out to be for me...

it'll all be into darkness again like how orchard went flooding yesterday...

N i remembered the time when i cried so badly for u...

made me don;t wan to loose u anymore...

not even for once...

For i have gave my whole heart to you.. =)

=-*

2010-06-08T23:45:00.002+08:00

I, myself am IMPERFECT too,

cuz i have too many FLAWS too...

thats why i need ur help to be by my side to correct me too...

2010-06-05T23:00:00.003+08:00

Believe it or not...
I've known and been with him for more than about 2 yrs 2 mths or so?
and i'm still loving him strong.
Despite his NS schedule, busy meetings and etc.
I'm still staying strong in the loop to love him no matter what.
HUH!!! wat!? malay?
TAU TAK PE...
color , race doesn't matter...
i love him for who he is is most impt.
So wat if i fall for someone of the same skin colour n race bt just someone i cannot communicate with or anything at all??
COrrect!
Furthermore...
he and i can talk about anything without feeling shy not to share...
AIn't tht great!
a guy like him...
he may be young (by a yr)
but matured.
His just perfect in everyway for me.

He thinks wat i think...
I think wat we think..
bt if ever we have any issues to talk about.
We'll sort things out...
like miss bel says...
" IF U WANNA WORK THINGS OUT , U HAVE TO SORT THINGS OUT AND NOT DRAG THE ISSUE..."
THis way... ppl live happily ever after...
n i totally belive wat miss bel says...
readers, u can say we dun quarrel all the time how to know one another better?
well...
dun quarrel means nt good.
but good too cuz we understands one another n give in.
not only to that but to talk to each other with respect.
I think thts the most important.

and i APPRECIATE him whenever, wherever, whatever he is /are...
n i'll always love u...
=)

ps: i'm sorry for wat happened...

2010-05-14T22:28:00.008+08:00

FEEEE FAAAAIIII FFOOOOO FFUUUMMm!!!

A week to spare...

and wasted...

coming this week...

i'm so gonna start going gym like 4 times a week ...

gotta keep tht..

gotta keep tht tht tht...

boom boom boom going..

start doing up english...

start reading novels again.. ( oh i miss tht!)

start up on my vocals..

start up on alot of things... it just keeps the list on going.

But wat keep the list on going too,

is the time n plans i'm gonna spend with my dear too...

so many things he had ahead in mind that i could not even count.. but its a good thing...

at least my other half has plans in mind hohOH!

so does it leaves me lazing around?

i bet he wun allow tht! loL!...

like i say:"When time comes for u to give ur heart to someone, make sure u select someone who will never break ur heart, cuz broken hearts has never spare parts"

and his someone i'll never give my heart away for someone else.

Cuz my heart belongs to him.

2010-05-01T11:53:00.003+08:00

Lately....

things has been messing around in my mind non-stop...

so many things which i dunno where to start from.

haven been sleeping tht well...

i miss skl...

i miss all my frens...

i miss my classmates...

i miss the times when i sing everyday like no bodies business...

i miss going down for showchoir..

i miss seeing my grandparents the most =(((

as much too...

i miss seeing syg...

all these misses has collade up to the brim which even a shopaholic i can pass through...

2010-04-25T00:37:00.002+08:00

BUSY ! YET a very MEMORABLE WEEK!

Havin to work everyday kinda stops my mind working for awhile sia...

unlike last time when i go to skl everyday.

first thing i sat on my chair was to take out my textbook and pen to ready to learn new things...

now is like...urgh....

i dunno how to explain.

and when i got home, i felt like a blur cock log..

loL!

macham no life..

loL!

well, this is the real world...

loL!

well, apart from tht...

i had a wonder day with my syg.... celebrating my bdae b4 tht....

simple yet enjoyable... =)

like as if its like an everyday life...

i hope ah. hahah!

more of sentosa outing k syg! =)

or maybe other outings ah~ huahuah!

dun expect out of the expect.... wld be abit bored ..loL!...

ok, see thts wat i mean....BLUR~

once again, i'd like to thank for all the wishes and present.

esp nat, raif and aqidah...

the cute little present with light and a star was a surprise....

moved me alot... like even though my bdae is over...

very much appreciated....

plus showchoir singing bdae song like the whole bishan can hear sia! crazy!

but thts wat we are wat... lOL!....

aite... i'm kinda tired...

need to wake up early for tmll... nights ppl....

2010-04-16T08:49:00.002+08:00

See the pic above you'll roughly know what i've been going through lately this week....

basically,

a new job was a good news...

the bad news was my family and i have been quarrelling over me working at retail sales...

wanting me to change to admin job which was a total nono!

first nt willing to fork out the money to study private.

then want me to part -time study private

and now want me to study fulltime private...

thts one side of the shit i've been hastling about..

nxt...

choosing a course also give a hell damn of a prob..

not wanting me to study arts management side...

nvm

sports sci industry too small nvm...

psychology industry even smaller, nvm...

MASS COM! ask me wat for....

kills me to the beat man~

because of all these

i haven been sleeping well...

tired of getting lectured everyday at night despite after a long 8hrs of standing at work, u'd expect peace at home...

in the end.

its more like a law case.....

then comes world war III!...

after wat i've decided yesterday...

i hope it'll come to a stop not only for now but also for a long term....

i guuess my proving to them is not enough...

oh well...

" u can't please everyone"

This week... everyone started skl...

i start to miss my clasmsates..

my schoolmates...

my showchoirmates...

my free time going out shoopping!. =(

everything!...

last but not least!

the most i miss about is SYG...

gosh...

syg i miss u soooo much... =(

2010-04-04T23:27:00.002+08:00

These days hasn't been on my side...
grades aren.'t improving...
poly applications were successful..
got bombarded by my dad....
last but not least...
friendship was as important as the most pain in theass these days...

but!.... a second chance to poly is till like less than half hr more...
i do hope i'll get in....
damn nervous...

apart from all these
i'm glad tht i get to meet syg more than once this week...
though not getting into poly for the first round....
i'd manage to put tht aside and have my time with him rather than 2 person having a sulky face...

Friends....
the most easy to have...
yet
the most irritating and alter ego to some...
some friends are willingly to be open to speak up face to face to solve it nicely...
bringing down therir alter ego and let it pass....
some were such an up tight ass...
tht thinks they are at/not at fault
and making a hell lots of racking and jumping into conclusions of ppl not friending them...
well.... is tht wat u want?
dun mind not friending us?
hmmmm!!!
all these sentence seems like only meant for primary and secondary skl kids...
n hows thee...
so...WHO GOES THERE!!!
people need to learn to give n take...
wan a friendship tht last long... suck it face and dare to receive and comments/ bad...
cuz if not where u learn to be a better person
and how are you gonna gain good friends....

in the end.. you'll be having new friends and backstabs u than being truthful to you...
wld you U rather have friends who are always there for you?
or wld U RATHER! have friends who are also ur friends but backstabs and talking things tht are not true?
wld U rather have friends who comes up to u about ur whereabouts of wrg u had and amend it....
or wld U RATHER! have friends who just laugh at ur act and talks bad passing all the bad remarks around...
wld U rather have friends who stand by you no matter wat kind of person u are.....good or bad...
or wld U RATHER! have friends seeing ur attitude in a manner and leave u cuz u dun suite in their category?
think about it...
not saying us leaving u alone..
u know wat you've done or say..
we nvr take sides...
its wat u THINK it is...
and u know it....
so think b4 u say wat yo wanna say..
cuz it might end up causing a loss of friendship at stake!
AS SAID.... we're always there... u just have to approach like wat you did b4...
if nt its not gonna get settled
or not...
dun put words around....
but come to think again... if ur consciences is clear why bother wat ppl say wat?
betol kan?

2010-03-26T22:57:00.002+08:00

i'm bored during this holidays...

rehersals...
late night sleeping (nth special)
waking up late....
exercising....

all these things seems so normal....

missing him seems very normal too...
but to me...
the misses and love for him are different and special everyday.... =)
do u feel it syg?
Hurhurhur! =*

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Friends....
whats it for?
some says its for expanding the social circle..
some says to know more people ...
some says...
if someone is in trouble tht person or whoeve can back it up.
some says when one is down, he/she/they can always be there for one another...
how about exchanging views of each other...
not in other people but towards each other...
some excepts...
some don't...
why so?
so who/ how is it "u" can change for the better when views from other people u dun wanna to hear..?
how to have better friends?
is it of the same activities u have?
or wat?
or its someone who is willing to tell u right from wrong u ur willing to accept wat they say....
If not willing to accept friends opinion, whats gonna happen when ur in the real world of reality?
wats said has been said...
its up to u readers to decide....
i think if i said it till here you guys understand wat i mean right?
hahah! if don't .
Do go to ....
WWW.GOOGLE.COM.SG and search for what friends are for.....
more or less gives u an idea.... =)

Let me put a fullstop here...

2010-03-18T16:39:00.004+08:00

A LOUSY WEEK!

as it has seems...
i haven been letting my voice rest.
then i came falling ill
so bad that i nearly fall out from my stableness....
apart from falling ill...
flu, sorethroat...
and apart from ill...
my hairs a frail too...
spoiled and spoiled!
nvr in my 21 years its so spoiled till like tht..
first time i felt as if i was in depression over a spoiled hair which was stupid...
but my hair brings out what i am...
a spoiled hair....(speechlesss)
certain things hasn't been well too...
which kept my mind occupied...
i shall nt say it...
think its better to keep it to myself...
cuz its better to let alone myself know then anyone else...

being with my syg is a blessing...
nvr have i regret a thang.
it may be an amazing ride or a dangerous ride...
i'm glad its him i go on with...
an ego guy like him could actually made me fall for him....
is nt easy know...
moreover...
its not his looks tht i fall for..
but who he is....
makes me fall deeply into a hole for him that no one can replace him.
(LOVE YOU handsome =*...)

overall, these week is a bad omen for me... =(

ps: let me say it again....
close is close....
but keep ur hands off him...
unless u dunno what does limits means...
tell me how it feels if u were in that situation too...
i dun wanna be mean...
but i'm just trying to be nice here...
i dun wanna be selfish .
cuz i'm not.
BUT this, i have to say i am selfish. cuz his mine.you know....

2010-03-12T11:02:00.002+08:00

Finally, exams are over....

sigh.... no more waking up early disturbed by my alarm clock.

No more rushing or walking to skl....

no more wearing SM shirt....

no more special hand signs from my classmates...

no more projects to be rushed...

no more alot of things.....

happy yet sad...

full of memories...

loads of happiness, joy n laughter....

yet with arguments and happy endings....

i'm glad it all ended with a good note... =)

As syg has POPed....

i managed to see him twice a week

yesterday after a meeting with my classmates awhile...

more to come...

lets make it short n sweet.

we've walked throught a long aile of esplanade ...... heee!

2010-02-27T22:52:00.003+08:00

2 class test down ....

1 final crucial to go before ring ding ding.... HOLIDAY!

but haven been feeling well nor eating well these days...

tht aside...

have been up late studying

radio station for final competition

band rehersal for iTalent...

do vote for us...!

sms.... ITECCS(space) IMO6 to 91822255

have been smsing for these 2 days till i memorised it loL!...

and i have a last shout out! before i end this update for today...

that....

i miss my syg very much.... =(

u know i know ah syg.....

cuz ur the perfect man for me...
i love you i do.... =D

2010-02-20T12:05:00.002+08:00

JEALOUSY IS A WHOLE BUNDLE OF EMOTIONS

We tend to think of jealousy as a single emotion, but actually it is a whole bundle of feelings that tend to get lumped together. Jealousy can manifest as anger, fear, hurt, betrayal, anxiety, agitation, sadness, paranoia, depression, loneliness, envy, coveting, feeling powerless, feeling inadequate, feeling excluded. It often helps to identify what is the exact mix of feelings you experience when you feel jealous. What is the primary emotion you feel when you are jealous? Demystifying the exact components of your jealousy can be a giant step towards getting a grip on things and resolving the problem. Is it always the same for you or does the mix change from time to time depending on circumstances? For instance, one woman figured out that her jealousy was about 50% fear, 20% anger, 20% feeling powerless and 10% feeling betrayed. However, when she asked her partner for reassurance and affection, and he provided it, the anger and betrayal disappeared. Then her jealousy was much more manageable, because most of what was left was fear and she could express those feelings more easily to her partner and resolve them.

Hahahah! its wat i read about jealousy when i was bored...
it was the first time i could express in tht manner...
and that was a shocking state to myself too loL!....
Nevertheless, i had to overcome tht...
with so much it jealousy inside me is not gonna work...
cuz thats not what i am...
Thats why, i have to be able to understand....
and thts where trusts comes in...
cause i have nvr doubt him...=)

Still whoever is out there to get him..
i shall say his mine...
dun try taking him away from me eh..
cuz its not fair...
know where u stand....
dun go beyond limits...
well, as i myself have to too.. lOL!...

Lets talk about yesterday...
i just wanna thank people for coming down to see my show...
well not only mine but the group of us thts performing and i hope ur enjoyed the little things here and there hahah!

And come to think of the rides reminds me of syg and i playing at
escape theme park back that time....
where crisis for both of us was at stake... loL!...
nvrtheless, yesterday was the most craziest ride of all and i get to sit that with him was an honour....
"we fly,we fly high together. We go down,we go down together.We shout,we shout out i love you together"
hahaha!
and i'd love to have more adventures out with him... =)

2010-02-14T20:45:00.004+08:00

Today is the first day of Chinese New Year

also as well as VaLenTine's DaY!

omg....

I have no choice but miss out valentine's day today. =(

I'm so sorry my dear.

I will repay tht day the next day or when ur free this week. =)

Bt nevertheless, we both exchanged V.D. gifts on a friday.

and i've gt to say this ,

that i lorved the gift u gave syg. =)

till i wear it on the first day of chinese new year/valentine's day hahah!

Lovely ya?!

And u cun reject

ISKANDAR PITT and APRIL JOLENE!

nOT to forget Amz... =)

Isk and his bunk mates...

Not to forget to support my skl bandmates at ITALENT!

Shall update the dates but its a saturday at VIvo City!

Coming days gotta start studying for my exams...

no time.....

" dun mess with wats mine...i might not be there but i'm not blind"

2010-02-07T21:47:00.002+08:00

I had loads of things to do this week...

Preparation for the camp.

cHecks here and there..

rehersal.

then camp on friday and saturday.

It was my first time going to Pulau Ubin..

My first time having outdoor cooking!

first time sleeping in a tent.

hahah!

gAINed new experience !

But had to be under the scorching sun the whole day..

standing the whole day cuz i'm the assistant camp chief...

how exhausted was that!

responsibilities tht amera, hubert and i had to hold..

and consequences tht we had to face for any of their mistakes...

was stressed up!
but i'm glad tht was over.

And now the only thing i left to do is my POM final paper!

EVM report to hand in and presentation to present

ODR to presentation to present FIRST! then report...

I hope,

there wld be more automatic.

and not taking for granted attitude.

once work means work.

show coloured face.

at the end of the day.

we work together, our results shows better.

Dragged myself out of the bed today for Photoshoot.

nvr had propershoot b4.. but funny la hhah!

coming this week will be more hectic

cuz i'll have to clean the house.

do gardening...

clean the mess at home.

study for POM.

get ready for ODR presentation...yarlk!

and chinese new year!

but darn it cuz it clashes with Valentine's day..

but tht does not mean i'll miss my valentine's day..

i'll just have My VALENTINE's day another day..with my syg...

sorry syg.. =(

but trust me...

it'll be sth special.. =)

and

XOXO...

I MISS YOU TOO...

badly..

teehee... =)

SM camp 2010

Too tired... dozing off in class..

2010-02-01T08:17:00.004+08:00

Tiring week that causes me unable to sleep well...

Comin this week will be more hectic then usual...

i need more rest or else i cun recover....

Nevertheless,

i'm so glad as u can see people coming down to support me...

esp. aidil and ema...

after sentosa event come all the way down...

teha and natri! woooooo! best supporter...

BUT the best is not the noisiest in the crowd but the most supportive in the crowd and at heart was my syg....

lorves...

more to update esp on showchoir...

will update soon....

2010-01-24T11:12:00.004+08:00

My week has been a blast ...

I get to exercise....

run my group event that went quite smoothly.

to Perporm at ESPLANADE again...

and last but not least...

to meet up with my syg....

Unfortunately, we both were ill...
its like 2 sick lovebirds falling ill.. haha!
we went to the beach feeling the breeze..
i'm so glad tht beach we visited
was so quite FILLED with our laughter and many thoughts...
we managed to exchange our sharing sessions since the past till now...
come to think of it.
its been a year plus...
how far we've gone...
man. tht was long but a start.

aite.... now most of the shows are over soon....

i gotta get my ass back to my books and get ready for exams....

Triple Trouble event...

And of course after the performance.. i get to eat my fav chicken! =)

see how much cravings we have for chicken!

blablabla... yes daen we know we know..hahah!

Before the show...

LAST but not least...

SHOWCHOIR!

2010-01-17T22:00:00.003+08:00

Thu de lovebirds are so far apart but always near at heart.

it's not the lovely words that are exchanged among each other,

but the understanding and thought that counts makes their hearts and relationship grows stronger...

Yes! they may see each other once a week or sth or maybe a fortnight.

but that doesn't matter to both of them.

To them,

its the love they had for each other matters.

They dun scold each other all the time.

They dun fight all the time.

They dun irritate each other all the time.

They dun get jealous all the time....

Which means trust play a big part of the story and not to mention honesty.

Thats why it has always been so smoothly went well for the past 1 year plus to 2?

But that doesn't mean there wun be disagreements along the way.

Too soon to say.

But these 2 has always been the apple's of each other's eye for what its said to be able to trust each.

That's the most honesty that could ever happen in their relationship thats wat keeps them going on...

And Here's what the female bird has to say:

Dear male bird,

it's been a year plus so to 2.

what a blast it has been.

so many things that normal lovebirds might not be able to see.

but we've come by pass tht... and there are more to come.

For since the time i laid my eyes on you.

i pondered if this time round it would be a fake?

but as time passes by makes my false sense tells me ur the one.

Every time we're together

In each others arms

I know you will keep me safe

And protect me from any harm.

Whenever you're around

I get lost in your eyes

for you have taken way my sadness

away.

When u speak

no eyes of mine pondered anywhere

but to yours and only yours alone...

to make me able to see u a little longer....

for there's more for us

and more for me to say

but i just wanna cut it short

just to say...

" Aku Cinta Panda Mu"

from female bird.

2010-01-17T21:49:00.002+08:00

Finally i get to meet up with syg yesterday evening...

missed him so much....

spend sometime with him. Then met up with his buddies he haven seen for sometime.

Too bad i had to leave early to be a good girl for now...

but hey! i'm always a good girl what! ah hahaha!!! =)

Woke up late for today's sound check at jurong point.

Natri, Aidil, Syaiful and zainul perpormed too...

our host....

is non other than Paul Twohill...

i find him quite humerous....

hah!

hoh well... then head down for rehersal trainings and to my grandma's house..

2010-01-16T12:54:00.006+08:00

These days had been a quack of the week....!
Practically waking up to be at school at 8am! Haven been sleeping well but i'm glad i had a rough of an exercise these week.... =)

Secondly,
syg POPed yesterday and was posted 3rd rank sergent...
congrats...!
finally after his weeks of toture in tht chamber and

me missing him. I finally get to see him....

Apart from tht, i've been missing classes for a few performances which i felt utterly bad.
gotta catch up with my modules.
this will be my last semester and i ain't gonna mess them up!

Last but not least...SHOWCHOIR is performing at ESPLANADE on the

19th and 20th JANUARY!
2 SLOTS given.
7.15pm and 8.15pm at the concourse...

So do come down and support.After months and months of rehersals and trainings....
thunder and shine.....its time! =)

aite.. let pictures do the talking for now

2010-01-01T22:11:00.007+08:00

The countdown night was way awesome .

But the whole event line- up sucked...

like performance performance all the way but!

nothing special or fun.

Mosh pit people were lifeless!

pfffttt.....

but nevertheless, i've spent time with showchoir mates, fahmy and his gf and most importantly,

i end my last day of 2009 with my SYG...

Its been quite awhile already...

Spending time with him is the most crucial part.

It can nvr be a folly or a waste of time.

cuz, life just seems to get better with him around every now and then.

I'll nvr get bored by him.

Thats why i lowe him.

2009-12-30T23:33:00.006+08:00

I'd like to say that Jessica Chan Wanteng AKA Furby is wearing DRESS!!!

for the 1ST time!!!!

Woooooo!!!!

next time can buy dress for u le!!! yeah ringtails!

Someone is becoming a woman soon!!!! heeee ! and turning 22 soon!!! =)

See this face...

it shows how excited i am able to see my syg tml.

Not to mention i can celebrate countdown for 2010 with him and aidil j and syaiful and zainul tml!

double ringtails! =D

Plus on these are the passport photos of some of us after eating... had nothing to do and had laughing butterflies in our stomache after watching a video done by zainul, aidil j and faiz....

2009-12-22T19:49:00.007+08:00

These 2 weeks has been tiring and mind freak for me.

Exams for dance elective started yesterday which made me go crazy over remembering the steps.

Thank god i made it through for the first half.

Put that aside.

plus showchoir rehersals.

Has been ups and downs.

maddness!

i dun wana know but ur know why.

Plus on, i just meet my group madness to celebrate Hui Ping's birthday in advance at furby's house.

WOah! the last time i went to her house was when huh? 2yrs ago huh?

hahah!

And we talked alot.

Not alot alot.

But alot.

hahahah!

which somethings i felt it has turned out to tragedy.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST!

I'm so looking forward to spent my time with syg!

woooo!!!

killing me man... unable to see him. =(

i've been waiting for 2 weeks to see him and finally!

Temptations of missing him has been a great impact to me...

and i'm glad his back! =)

2009-12-20T12:21:00.008+08:00

I've been missing going to skl.

i've been missing going out with my classmates.

i've been missing going out with madness...

and i've been excruciating missing my syg for 2 weeks.

His in camp for 2 weeks which makes me missing him more nt seeing his face.

But you know what.

i'll have him everywhere i go.

Be it in showchoir, dance elective, at home. His everywhere with me.

aND I can't wait to see him in a few days more....

Then comes dance elective.

I've been freaking busy over the elective these days.

Phew.... make it end.

But its a great experience to learn them though.

Then comes showchoir rehersals....

Performance and rehersals coming up.

shagged man....

apart from the 2 musicals tht i had b4 busy on december.

this was like everyday. one thing after another...

I need to rest. but nt really rest.

loL!!

Things dun seem to turn out well these days in tht crib.

can te' tell me why?

like why having these unneccessary way of speaking or thoughts.

or even a simple respect would be the most easiest way out.

just becoz the dope ain't around doesn't mean youal can do anything ur wanna do.

i'm a free and easy person.

but like wat its says.

Its has limits.

so if ur stick within the limitation aren't we yall happy?

or shall i say.

when the dopes aren't around .

this shows ur true colour?

am i right?

syncronization is all i need.

its just soooooo

bruesome simple and fcuking english understand.

why some dun wanna listen?

is it ur mentaliness of understanding is blocked?

or??????

and ur attitude and personality dun seems to match urh these days?

ur nt bring wat u are.

instead ur being someone else. u'd like to be? am i right?

can u tell me?

have i done anything wrg ?

or say anything wrong.

Ya'll can confront and critisize about me.

for all u want.

but do it infront of me.

not inviting u when we gather?

where were ur'all b4 just less than few mins b4 the dang?

think about it dewp.

2009-12-12T23:31:00.008+08:00

Kick off with a BAD START...

Results for marketing was a disaster to me.

didn't i expect i would get a "C"

Careless mistake somewhere...

Still i have 2 more months for me to study the whole book b4 my final exams.

and this i gotta score...

Had a friday night blast with SYG.

Met up with him and his bunk mates to go to cash studio.

Stayed till 1 am

then had supper till 3am.

Tht night ended off with a little scare for me.

I though i couldn't find you.

i was scared to death till waters running

calling anxiously u "dumb dumb"...

in the end.

u were fast asleep in the room.

hahah!

Syg, i wun be seeing you for 2 weeks or more..

I'll defeinitly miss you to the core man!

and you'll be badly missed and pondered by me...

take care while ur in the elite team..

remember: health comes first!

"I lowe you"

well then , saturday was a new..

thu tht i was kinda restless cuz i had 2 hrs of sleep.

woke up making so much noise in front of my classmates...

haha! aiyo aiyo aiyo..

climbed till our hands were so sore.

still i'd see determination in all...

then!

my arms starts to ache nice nobodies busy now!

sweep the floor like some retard unable to hold it properly.

ahahh!

CASH STUDIO!

ROCK CLIMBING!

We both are so hyped up over the pictures...

Yana and i

restless

And this is what happens if its a scorching saturday morning!

haha!

2009-12-05T12:17:00.002+08:00

FINALLY!

test PART 1 is over!
I'm so reliefed!
The next half of POM have to study even harder because its a whole book!
which means i have to revise oftenly not to forget the earlier chapters....

Sometimes ,
i think tht no matter how much i would really wanna have it.
It just can't seems to blend it in.
I will tired myself and have a bad impression too...
Therefore , maybe sometimes have spaces for myself would be a better choice
EVEN! if there are better things given for me...
I'll just work hard and hope for the best!
Just to say,
NEVER GIVE UP...

Yesterday's performance...
something was missing...
I was disappointed..
Not on you guys but i think myself...
i'm sorry if i lost my temper or sth...
not focus ah...
still i miss u all..
and i miss all the atmosphere tht we all used to have...
i would like to see how it was lke before...

as u all know somethings are left said by seeing it..
Cuz wat u say is not wat u see...
a lie or death definition.
u choose ,
cuz at the end of the day,
people will look at you at a different angle.
just watch wat u say.

plus on....
someone out there is getting on my nerves...
i just remembered i know u .
but not very well or close...
so stop putting words around
total liar.

k, away with all the negative stufff...
LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE!

Syg is gonna have his POP soon!
can't wait to spend time with him again! whooohoooo!!!!!
HAVE so many things in mind with him.. "secret"
u know i know huh...
not say i wanna say ah..
but its between me and him only haha!
have been missing him so much...
just can't get to see him.
romantic words aren't just words.
but its how u express and really mean to someone you'd really love.
Hor syg!.
=D

2009-11-29T12:38:00.008+08:00

Its been like a year plus i've known you...

And we're still moving on strong...

How fast was that! loL!...

To think that the things we've been through aren't like normal couples will have to face...

and there is more to go..

Put tht aside...

Lets look at the memories of our past times! hahah!

Can u believe tht when we took this picture on Aidil Gemok's lappie i didn't realise we both we inside...

Till now i still cannot believe ahhah!!!

Then this time when we started to get close after the rooftop thingy.

plus remember wat does tht picture signify?! hahah!

This was during ur SongSung time remember? lOL!

The couples from GREASE!.

i CANNOt imagine how gemok i was! haha!

Syg!!

compare ur arms NOW! and this picture u were!!

Hahahh! pyshc!

BET U CAN REMEMBER WHERE this was taken!

My "clubbing" experience and first dance club session with u. ahahah!

The stay over during grease camp.

Our 1st Valentine.

During my attachment and ur work period.

How much and fast it has passed...

so far yet very near.

we both have grown.

U too have grown!

big! loL!!

i may have friends who are always there for me.

i may have family to guide me and support me.

i may be good in sports or music.

But life without you, just keeps me half alive

i'm so glad..

that i've found you!. =D

2009-11-23T23:34:00.004+08:00

I'm so shagged over the past few days..

I'm so tired after projects and projects comin in so fast.

I'm so afraid of POM.

I'm so tired of all the problems thts been happening around.

Cuz it just keeps my head spinning.

Vocals and flu have yet recover.

But i will nvr get tired,

thinking and missing my syg whole day long.

"Cuz i'm truly madly in lorve with him." (a quote from him)

Which indeed its the fact that i cannot deny.

Thinking of him makes my jitters of problems go away.

Just can't stop giggling seeing his messages , on the phone with him, and seeing him.

It seems as if the time has stopped for the both of us to carry on our lives together.

And it will nvr happen for me to merajuk with him.

cuz his compassion , love , tender and care like a soldier teddy bear comforts me all the time.

SEEing him , listening to him.

makes my heart goes to heart "pom pom"

And i've got to say.

I've found LOVE.

and

I've found HIM...

2009-11-23T00:20:00.002+08:00

PLease huh...
stop all ur blog wars....
wanna talk .
talk face to face.
Why? scared to face each other is it?
Why? cuz gt sth tht both sides should nt know?
If not do so...
hating someone is so horrible.
I dunno about u people.
But if u think its nt...
I can say.
wake up...

Watever starts.
it all started....
u know why it started
how it started
and who is started.
Wanna end it in such a manner...
It it with wat ur are doing...
All i can say is grow up...

Love has many ways...
but each time u say it..
u mean it...
Dun be naive and say then say another thing.
Pshyc!

2009-11-21T22:37:00.002+08:00

A VERY MUCH OF LORVB , CARE AND CONCERN for each other.

plus UNDERSTANDING!

I shall say this is the first time i ever heard him so pissed over wat happened.

and this understand tht his concern and cares.

u can't say i have to hide from him.

But i think there is nothing to hide from him.

Cuz whatever he needs/not to know knows it .

and whatever i needs/not to know knows it...

Thats where trusts and truths towards each other comes from.

Without all these, problems will slowly come out.

Why?

wan me to elaborate not!?

i'll be very draggy u know!

cut short.

If u ever hide things from ur bf/gf.

The truth will always comes out.

Thts why is best not to hide/keep /lie.

Be truthful and understand.

You'll lead a happy life.

hahaha!

I'm so glad i've met him.

From friends to ,

come here sit with me,

to the rooftop.

to the camp night.

to the stayover.

till the end of GREASE.

to school seasons and exams.

to even the period of hardships we had suffered .

to his NS and my study life....

Till NOW!

I have never REGRET having him being my other half.

Its a very more of much how dearly i appreciate him.

ANd how much tht makes him so special towards me.

Hor syg!. =D

and i'm not afriad to say

"ur my boyfriend"

and

"i lowe u dearly! "

2009-11-15T10:46:00.004+08:00

3 DAYS OF FREEDOM??

These 3 days, my parents had been going out from 7am till 10pm for a Investment shares talk...

So much so, its more like a we can do anything or go out without telling them!

The freedom was hell good without hearing them nagging early in the morning or in the afternoon..

Phew...

But nevertheless...

I miss their abscence at home.

Then we can "BEHAVE" at home. hHHAHAHH!

Which i did ok!

I do housechores...

I sweep the floor,

I Mop the floor,

I mow the lawn,

I clean the house....

Hahahah!

Lets talk about my "3 DAYS OF FREEDOM"

FRIDAY

Its been weeks i've step into the gym and properly exercise...

Friday was the best day...plus on with some showchoir mates of mine...

The guys were all busying carrying heavy weights..

I came joining in carry only 2kg.

because i dun wanna gain mass...hahahah!

2kg i cannot tahan already...die!

loL!

So i might as well work with my own bodyweight...

Then comes SHOWCHOIR rehersals....

First time i actuallly threw a little temper...

Sorry if i do so...

was quite distracted by the song we've gotta sing repeatedly heh!.

BUT neverthless,

its a challenge for us...
If we can do BOHEMIAN RAPHSODY no. welll....

it pays off!

So lets not give up.

Plus a little pep talk before we end.

wEll....

i guess there would always be a rat that would always rant sacarstically....

Stilll, i dun even give a damn...

why would i wanna be filled which so much hatred and anger over a rat.

Its no use...

Kills my happy cells and make me grow older...

Still small u see...

i dun wanna use a pesticide to kill it u see...

dun wanna make that as a jeapordize ( duno how to spell)
Cuz if i do...

it will die drastically...
I just hope it understands...
and learn to be mature enough..
or maybe think b3fore you act/ speak.
Like i say i dun wanna look older or fest for over a ranting rat.

I'd rather save my happy cells for my SYG Especially....
SATURDAY

FINALLY after 2 weeks plus!
I get to see him!
Head to have lunch, played pool,
ate ice cream under the moon, stars and people in the restaurants...
Cuz i bet they're jealous to see ISK PIT AND APRILINA JOLINE eating ice cream! hahahah!
In an overall,
i can't wait to meet up with him and meet him up.
Yeah, but as you know i'm very greedy when it comes to him...
I would want him all for myself....
Cuz his mine ma....
yOU CAn't split the PIT AND JOLINE up ...
as i would still miss
his face,
his smile,
his talks ,
his singing,
his hugs,
his kisses,
his talks,
his weird ah pek laughter recently
and everything about him when i see him face to face...

Nothings is real than in reality of him...
He would never fail to make me smile and go "bhoob bhoob "(heart throbbing) over him ....
NEVER....
and i would never fail to tell him of anything i wanna say...
Cuz i love him for who he is.... hahahah!
Haiyah!
You know how ISK PIT AND APRILINA JOLINE would miss each other
despite their busy days...
fOr NOW!
WEeekends would be their day....
In time,
Weekdays will come in to spend more...
i'M just waiting MR. PIT. hahah!
Show me your packs also eh! hahahah!!!

then comes to my last day of freedom which is the last day of this week...
SUNDAY
I'd would stay

at home and study ,

do housechores and

get out of my house to buy a new phone...

nt the latest but a phone, not to use my sis phone..

afraid i'd spoil hers....

Phooo!!! thats all for the day! =)

2009-11-12T23:01:00.002+08:00

These days 2 of my classmates had been effected with sore eyes and now they are on MCs...

But i'd been having my eyes tht are damn dry which causes me to have bad mygraines which i had to sleep early or so...

Dunno whats been happening these days..

But i cun allow myself to go back to hospital already for another surgery after so many years...

because the feeling is dreadful...

not only tht it affects my head too...

pfffttt....

Aite....gotta rest early...

Counting down the days to meet my syg.. =)

2009-11-08T14:56:00.002+08:00

I'm sure not everyone has watched this movie musical called "RENT".

Its about in this building living in all sorts of problems...

They have people like:

Lesbians

Gays

Bisexuals.

Aids probs

etc etc...

But one thing they have in common was their friendship they had...

This song titled called "SEASONS OF LOVE"

I duno what has gotten into me but i just kept listening to all versions of tht..

Each time i hear tht.

i could just tear...

It all brought back to when JOSEPH MUSICAL time...

we sung tht song tht made us all cried...

like we felt the friendship tht's been kept since we've known each other till the very last day...

And now, SHOWCHOIR would have to bring back this song onto ESPLANADE...

I do hope and i'm looking forward for SHOWCHOIR to give a good blast and happening on this no.

Because if whoever felt it... really felt it...

Means u've given ur 150% into the song to relate not to people out there but to your daily lives!

If u havent.

Ya gotta work harder...

Find your inner heart to feel it out...

For those who haven heard of the song.. do check it up at YOUTUBE

song title

"SEASONS OF LOVE"

Been staying home the whole day.

Changed of plans...

Nevertheless,

i hope ur grandma would be fine syg.

dun need to worrry.

I make breakfast for you in future ok!

Dun cry for me argentina~......

2009-11-07T19:33:00.003+08:00

Had wrestling matches today...

before it was my turn.

my hearts beeeb boooop non-stop and afraid...

Hands were cold man i thell u!

Under my category, i was against 3 person.

The second match with a chi girl was tough. She was about how i was last time...

Tough man!!!!

Then last was with Haleijah ( sorry i duno how ta spell ya name..-_-!)

I was so afraid she would get hurt so.

But she got first in her category...

not bad girl...

Aminah won in her category too!

and Haikel won in his category!

Plus Jerome and an SM Junior!

Way to go for ITE SIMEI'S SM...

Head down to tampines with ema to meet kassim and hyekel...

had dinner with them plus raihannah.

Walked awhile then head home...

I kinda enjoyed my day...

the first week of nov sat.

with new experience.. =)

NOW!!!

I CAn't wait to meet syg tml!

thats the next new experience ahahah!

Each time i meet him is not a normal thing.

but a new step ahead.!

right syg!? =D

I don't have all the pictures yet. But soon... =)

Mr Andrew and i
Alan Wu and Wong Li Lin

Winners of WFS for today. loL!
Good job guys!

Ema came to support.

Kamsani came to join too! =D

2009-11-06T22:47:00.005+08:00

Attendence this week for SHOWCHOIR is ROTTING!

Vat happened people...

Esplanade performances are coming up soon...

And we've haven learnt finish the songs yet.

Singing : not done..

Dance: not done...

How you thell me...

i also dunno...

NOT SAY I WANNA SAY AH!

but.....

I'm just speechless...

After all my sports activities has ended...

I'm like always damn free after skl

Now that,

Mondays : are my piano lessons day.
Tuesday: damn free...

Wednesday : showchoir

Thursday: Even free!

Friday: Showchoir...

Sat n sunday : family and syg day...

Damn~! tml morning i'll be having a WRESTLING MATCH... =_=!!!

"HUH! WRESTLING!"

loL!...

Its an event tht mr.andrew asked us to joined..

So , i'm joining for fun...

If i could recall...

the last time i did wrestling took place when i was very young...

Having wrestlings on the bed with my sisters...

But tml...

i ain't no idea how is it gonna be man!

girls who are big size are gonna push me outta the ring man!

hahaahahah!!!!

Na la... we'll just see how....

I guess it'll be damn fun! =)

Shall update about it after the event.

FURTHERMORE!!!!

I'm missing my endeared syg...

His recovering from fever and sickness...

Couldn't be there for him but,

i'd always be there mentally and physically...

"if you know what i mean~"

haha!

Can't wait to see him this weekend....

Yea! =)

2009-11-03T09:39:00.003+08:00

Finally!

Netball ITESC is over...

Yes we got the defending champion again.

First and Second...

But to me, i'm not satisfied..

Unable to get the best defender name.

But oh well,

i know i've done my best.

But further to be improved.

Its like, "if you really want it, you'll go for it."

It was a tough fight no doubt.

Other colleges really wants the title so badly.

I wanna thank my teammates for comin down to trainings.

THank you guys for all the effort..

Thanks the basketball girls to come down n help us...

Thank you miss pee for calling all of us down for training..

Last but not least.

Thank you Coach for guiding us through.

Even though u scolded us like hell.

Esp me...

BEEN with you for 4 years...

Still kena scolded by you. loL!

Well, i've seen,

l've learnt ,

and i've grown...

All the mistakes i've did before. really made a though.

Now tht, this is over..

I've finally got my studies to focus .

And showchoir to focus on...

Right now, studies is more impt for me.

Cuz i really need the grades for me to pass onto the next stage.
"if you know what i mean ~"

Yeap, but action speaks loude than words... so we shall see!

TEAM 1

TEAM 1 & 2

ME, ah bao and Dawn

Del and i

Talking about SHOWCHOIR...

Yes. Michael JACKSON's tribute performance was over...

Despite it was such a let down for me cuz i wasn't able to sing for such a grand occasion....

Sigh... watever happens gets a repay in such.

I'll just have to recuperate so i can sing better once i'm recovered...

SHOWCHOIR and the HEADS!

SHOWCHOIR in the room!
Celebrating Joseph's birthday!

Tv series has polo boys.

SM has polo boys..

So does SHOWCHOIR!

" IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN"

i'M TRYING to have abs and muscles like them hahah!

Guess it didn't work.

This is what happens when u dress as NENEK KEROPOK!

you'll be unable to sleep the night through~

Thanks for Raif for the editing of words =)

2009-10-31T14:55:00.005+08:00

This week was not really the worse....
But it ended the worst ever!
I had trainings...
Ok, aims were already there but i need more... focus more...
Know where do i stand..

Rehersals for ITE AWARD SHOW.
Till after tht wednesday's rehersal...
Next day with no voice at all!
I panicked!
Not for just friday's performance which concludes my 1 sentence of solo and solo solo...
PLus on my ITESC's netball match...
I need my voice back to call players back and forth, left and right!

I tot, ok i lost my voice. there is showchoir to sing up welll...
As much as i tried to sing and hit high notes...
I totally fell emotionally devastated!
NOt about anything but about myself...
why do i need to lost my voice at this time!!
i just felt so angry with myself...
Even the day before... i tried singing and could not even reach a note...
i teared...
despite crying out loud.
i hate to cry silently, cuz my throat hurts so bad...
Till the next day rehersal before sound check.... tears were covering half my eyes...
but i gotta hold back to be sterong....
its just sucked to be so mute at this stage....
cuz i love to talk. loL!

In the end... on the day itself.
i told myself to push everything aside...
So long as i can perform and dance is good enough already...
expression and sing softer will do..
I'm glad i did it...
So it everyone who is not feeling well too... =)
Cherios to alll SHOWCHOIR MAN! =)

Umar came to our surprise too..
well not surprise... cuz his not sure if his comin..
unfortunately he came despite the rain.
Chatted with him life in CD.

Now tht this performance is over..
all i have to do now is rest well and had a good game the whole day on monday with enough voice to call out for...

Nevertheless, i'm missing my syg too....

BABY you know it...SAK!! =D

2009-10-25T19:53:00.005+08:00

Its not "think"

but i have already fallen for you syg. =)

Noted.... Lorves....

2009-10-25T01:11:00.002+08:00

Its the first time watching horror movie with syg today..

Damn, i thell you the effects and killings sends a thrill to my spine and makes my hair stands!!!!

Well, at least syg was there so i could clench my fist on his arms heheheh!!!!

But still scary ah! loL!!....

If it were really happen to me, i think i would die faster than the lead actress man.... or not!? loL!!!

Ben N Jerrys before that.

Burger King after tht....

Picture taken....

Kids shuffling under tetonic songs lol...

Memories flash back when we sat under the shelter...hehe!

2009-10-23T20:09:00.010+08:00

PERFECT the unPERFECTIONIST!

Every week, i'd be looking forward to look out for you because it'd be the day i get to see u in person.

Despite in pictures, videos and hearing voices...

Not seeing each other often does not mean to feel how much tht i miss you at one perspective..

But it tells myself why i would fall for you and how much you mean to me...

How much can i actually tel you about things and anything...

Missing you can be an everyday things

But its the heart thts so pure and truthful from me to you.

Couples, couples u see every where.

One like this

one like tht...

One like oh!

one like shit~

one like dang!

one like fang!

one like whoo!

one like sigh!

one like haiz...

But ours would be like a loves in the air under the breezing tree...

With lorves forever in the air and leaves being our witness to see us throught the things tht normal /common couples would nt face...

With Quarrels coming our way?

We've spoke about it...

Too early to say no.

But from what we foresee,

if ever it does we would compromise...

yOU know we do syg ya!

YOU know why?

Cuz seeing you is like eating an apple...

Its like ur my apple's eye...

That keeps me smiling each and everytime i see you...

Having lots of circumstances,

with you around everything does not matter...

But of course with ur advice and concern calms me down

That with a tree trunk to withstand our problems strong...

To be not defeated tht easily.

That with every hurricane , Tsunami, typhooon coming our way.

We will be standing strong and closer everytime....

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN~ HEHHH!

POL-ITE matches are over finally!

Its nt about winning
but your discipline, and attitude on court...

I've learnt alot...

Of all the years...
Sth which makes me see things through about myself...

Coming up next would be ITE SC!

Have ta work hard to get the DEFENDING Champion back!

Aiming for best defender...

Gotta work double hard and focus already no more nonsense...

Ankle began to hurt and swell every each training..

Gootta rest for the better...

2 more trainings to the day!

Work hard guys....

ITE CE jiayo! =D

2009-10-08T21:38:00.009+08:00

I Just wanna say for now will be.....
I miss my syg sooooo much
Lets see.... hmm its been 3 weeks plus, 365 days i've not seen him...
hahahah! no la....
But somewhere there....
YEah!
I missed him so much till nightmares of him saying me having Spasams scares the hell out of him which was a total scare! hahahah!
Aite... Just can't wait to see him soon!
SOON!!!!!

I'll shall update a little and let the pictures do the talking...

Basically!

Pictures seen here are afew of the day tht Showchoir Spent Jalan Raying....

Yeap....

This year will be showchoir...

Next year will be showchoir, my classmates and last but not least... My syg! =)

Followed by little pics at Japan.

Pictures were not totally updated so u get what you see...

Billa's house

Camwhor with Syirah's cam!

Natri the Diva...

I then came to join in but it didn;t work out welll...with a buck tooth sticking out... wth's wrong with me!?

Zainol's house

Its just the starting few of the visits and its getting hotter!

At Teha's house

Sani's house

Outside Boon Keng mrt station

We caught the camera

Changed after a hot day....

2 best singapore hottest models on the road! cool huh! hahah!

Ema's house

HOH!! Then here comes the Japan pictures!

This is what happens when you've walked a long day blown by breezy wind! shoik ah thts y fell asleep

2009-09-29T15:14:00.002+08:00

I will be away for a week...

Be back on the 5th Oct...

Misses but i was aked to go to Tokyo...

Hoh well....

I will miss MAdness...

I will miss Showchoir...

I will miss my jalan raya with my class! Sigh!Pffffft!vatever...

I will miss all my trainings... I'm so sorry...

Last But not least...

I will miss Syg...

Haven been seeing him for like 3 weeks soon...

BUt its alright.

Make it a stage for us to go through...

If it worths it...

It will definitely work....

For the benefit of his furture and mine...

Still i'll miss you lorts lorts....!!!

2009-09-27T01:46:00.002+08:00

Mama Do - Pixie Lott

2009-09-26T23:52:00.004+08:00

Furby n Big big eye!

What in those needs tht everyone hope to hope for..
What in those that people hopes to desire for..
What in those that people wish to have for...
What in those needs that people dare to do for....

Tsk for being too free
Tsk for being too independent
Tsk for being to bored with nth to do
Tsk for being only be able to speak for less than 5
Tsk for being too far
Tsk for being too left out
Tsk for being tears roll
Tsk for being hearts spilled
Tsk for being hardcore
Tsk for being phone-lines away
Tsk for being shhhh
Tsk for being such a let down
Tsk for being hopeless
Tsk for being useless
Tsk for being retard
Tsk for being brokened
Tsk for being sleepless nights
Tsk for being daring
Tsk for being trying
Tsk for being everything
I thank myself ,for loving u deeply....

2009-09-26T01:34:00.002+08:00

What would you do when someone belovedly u loved so much left you...

Be it as a family.

But someone whom you'd always have it there when u need it most.

When ur down, u can just talk to him without him whining back at you or barking at you..

But just look at you with despair and understands your worries?

12 years ago when i was 9.

I received a puppy...

He was a beagle with tri band colour on his body..

Seeing him so energetic and playful....

But now......

I've just lost 1 of my beloved one....

He might not be there to give advice to me...

He might nt be the one who always say i love you..

He might not be the one who scolds u upside down..

But his someone who is always there and makes u smile.

Sometimes seeing him doing dumb stuffs...

Stumble over stuff .

Or laying on the floor ,

face on the corridor...

Makes us chill with an awwwww.....

So cute!!!

Yeap, all was gone in just during our hours of sleep

Without us saying good bye or seeing him passed away right before our eyes...

I couldn't believe he would leave me tht early...

But i know his suffering...

I know he is hinting us..

I was suppose to bring him to the vet today...

But he doesn't give me the chance to bring him to see the vet.

But instead to leave without a good bye...

The last time i saw him was last night after i came home with dinner..

.Me calling for him...

Him not moving or responding to my calls...

After this morning ,

seeing him lay at the side of the grass with his mouth not closed...

Makes me think he died suffering badly...

I couldn't stop tearing....

Till the time the person came to take him away.

Seeing him carry charlie into the black plastic bag makes me wanna tear even more...

Worse was i wasn't allowed to have his ash .....

Till now...

i missed his waiting by the gate for me....

The tail wagging and barking at me for food...

I missed his running back to the backyard at 7pm SHARP to bark for food....

I missed his snatching of food from me....

i missed his smile with his tongue sticking out...

I misssed his using of nose pushing the sliding door wanting to come in.....

I missed his ,me calling him to "sit" or "down" or "come here charlie!!!"

or "go behind! go behind!"

I miss every single of him....

That 12 years of relationship with him was so unbearable to let him go...

His more than a family to me...

And i will miss him like how i miss those tht i loved dearly whole-heartedly....

Saddness aside for now...

I went to watch FAME with showchoir peeps today...

To clear the mind for awhile....

Seeing the happenings in FAME.

A few tht are quite similar to my life now....

Haiz,....sad...

But learn from one point...

You cannot be greedy to be having FAME all the time...

If FAME is wat you want...

You'll miss something that is much more important...

Not say i wanna say...

But i leave it to you to listen , understand and hear for youself... =)

Nights...

2009-09-24T14:56:00.010+08:00

What HURTS the MOST...

Is being SO cLOSE....

Having SO Much to say...

WATCHIN u walkaway....

Half of showchoir ONLY!

AMIRA's trend =)

And this is Phoebe! =)

Now it's the girls turn ! =)

THIS GIRL IS AMIRA'S BIGGEST FAN!!!!!

SEE! I AIN'T LYING RIGHT!!! HAHAHAH!!!!!

All the contestants...

Syirah and Dj

KAMSANI n syirah's brotha...

oPPPSSSS cuT cuT!

These couple is just so lovely to be true!

Teeeheee!

I had a long day..
Had rehersals....then to support Amira..
By the time i came home it was pass midnight
Then to wake up early to go for netball training...

And here i am......

Pictures below was tht monday....

Met up with Jasmine , Anthony and Edwin FOR KARAOKE SESSION...

it's been very long i had it with them...

Furby and Del and ah mao cam along for dinner. =)

2009-09-19T16:54:00.002+08:00

Hello Hello!!!!

Today is the last day of Pusa!

Yes all of you are excited!

so am i!

well, i may be chinese but!

i am excited to experience the feeling of celebrating hari raya...

Chinese at BLOOD !

teehee! Ok....

SHUT UP APRIL!

Yeap, its my first time buying Baju

and its my first time celebrating Hari Raya!

Yeahness to me QUICK!!!!!

lOL!.....

Just afew more hours till its time....

I hereby,wish you all....

Selamat Hari Raya!!!

kau segalanya jangan berfikir aku tak phaham aku cakcap.

tapi! aku does!!!!

maka, jangan main main ah!

Later, aku cakcap semuanya di malayu!

Jangan berfikir aku gila

aku mampa ke membuat maka.

Tapi, aku menghendaki masa..... =)

Do i score a "A" in just these sentence?

I hope i do...

hehehe! ok, i dunno what i'm taking from the malay dictionary infront of me..

No, i mean i do...

But i think the words i put together are word by word...

Pardon me by all the weird weird ones k!?

I'll learn more! hahahah!

Ok! HAPPY HAPPY! =)

2009-09-19T12:56:00.002+08:00

I just realise that after so much....

I've only been whining and whining...breaking down in a breakage pipe.

WTF... tell me i am whining.

yes i am....

I always hear people complaining about their interllectual problems

and gives advice

In the end

my problems are the same as their...

I came across thinking why can't i put the advice i gave to them into mine?

Yes, situations are diff

but still in the end...

you'll have to SUCK IT UP!

and accept the negative vibes.....

I don't know how many times i have to tell myself to wake up

Cause i am no longer young anymore...

not saying i'm very old cuz i still look 19 or 18 better still haahha!!!!

But to talk about career wise...

i'll have to think up ahead...

i cannot always have studies and studies in my mind...

knowing books of theories kills the hell out of me though i like to see books...

Sometimes being a retard ain't so bad after all.

Cuz we won't have feelings or many shits to think about but just being retards....

But do you know, being retards has feelings too?

Though they look , act and sound retard but they are clever too...

its just a matter of time they need to adverb to the social life...

Like Handicapped people.

They may have disablility somewhere than the normal people.

But they've achieved so much more than us normal people.

Because they are strong inside...

Therefore, we should learn from them...

After all the notes from the tagboard and msges from natri...

I teared cuz i understand some of their situation...

And felt like as if i was them then to give them advices like tht too..

that in return they'd do for me too...

I'd shall learn to suck it up...

Grow up girl...

U cannot depend on anyone but yourself...